From The Times November 20, 2008

Memorial service: Alan Brien

There was much laughter in church, when a tape recording was played of Alan Brien’s last appearance on Quote Unquote.

“Violence is the repartee of the illiterate,” was the quotation presented to him. He was mystified. Could it be George Bernard Shaw, Brien wondered. Or Chesterton, perhaps? Whereupon Nigel Rees had to reveal that Brien himself had written those words in 1971.

The broadcaster Paul Vaughan, an Oxford contemporary, spoke of Brien’s brilliantly aphoristic leading articles when he was editor of Isis, and about the time Randolph Churchill introduced Alan to Evelyn Waugh. “I’ve just written your profile for Truth,” said Brien. Waugh ignored him, but later wrote to a friend, “Randolph hired a Jew to insult me in White’s.”

Brien’s Sunderland background was echoed in songs sung by Bob Davenport, the Tyneside folk singer. His fourth wife Jane remembered that he could be mistaken in the street for Sean Connery or Liberace at various times, and was able to say: “The fact is, Alan was very entertained by himself. He was rarely unhappy.”

Terry Jones read one of his favourite poems, My Beloved Compares Herself to a Pint of Stout, by Paul Durcan, and Valerie Grove recalled one of his 1960s essays in the New Statesman, remarking on how London’s shop names resembled a nanny addressing her charge in Kensington Gardens: “Don’t be so selfridge, Master Fortnum. Eat up all your harrods, and then you can have a gorringe. You’ll do yourself a gamage, mark my words, unless you have a c.c. and a. every morning on the derry and tom. Ponting is rude. I knew a child once died of the whiteleys after eating too many burberries.” VG

A memorial service for Alan Brien was held on November 19 at St Paul’s Church, Covent Garden. The Rev Simon Grigg, rector, officiated and said the bidding prayers.

Mr Terry Jones read My Beloved Compares Herself to a Pint of Stout by Paul Durcan; Mr Nigel Wild read Alan Brien’s Diary, from The Sunday Times, June 18, 1972; Mrs Valerie Grove read a piece written by Alan, published in the New Statesman, May 23, 1969, and gave an address, along with Ms Jane Hill, widow, and Mr Paul Vaughan.

During the service Mr Bob Davenport sang Herrin’s Head; Jerusalem by William Blake, to the traditional tune; The Rose Tree; and The Drum (Retort on Mordent’s The Call) by John Scott of Amwell, accompanied by Mr Roger Digby, anglo concertina. Ms Susie Honeyman, violin, performed her own composition entitled In the Boiler Room and a recording of the Morriston Orpheus Choir of Wales singing The Internationale from The Road to Wigan Pier was played. Recordings of Violence is the Repartee of the Illiterate from Radio 4, 1985, and Sacred Cows an extract from Face Your Image, presented by David Dimbleby in 1974, were also played.

Among others present were: Mr and Mrs Adam Brien (son and daughter-in-law), Mr and Mrs John Mckelvie, Mr and Mrs Richard Arison, Mr and Mrs Stuart Verrilli (sons-in-law and daughters), Ms Alyson Brien (daughter), Mrs Joyce Hill (mother-in-law), Mr Peter Hill (brother-in-law), Mrs Alexa Gilpin Hill (sister-in-law), Ms Lucy Gilpin Hill (niece), Mrs Muriel Halls, Miss Amy McKelvie, Miss Esther McKelvie, Miss Isabella Arison, Mr Jack Arison, Miss Megan Brien, Mr Josh Brien and Burt Brien (grandchildren), Mr Malcolm Carr, Captain Phillip Carr with other members of the family.

Sir Arnold and Lady Wesker, Mr Trevor Grove, Ms Andrea Galer, Ms Jane Bond, Mr and Mrs David Stone, Mr and Mrs George Carey, Mr and Mrs Jack Waterman, Mr Nathan Silver, Ms Roxy Beaujolais, Ms Deborah Moggach, Ms Catherine Rickman, Mr Felix Jay, Mrs Margaret Legg, Ms Fiona Legg, Mr Jock McFadyen, Ms Annie Morag McFadyen, Mr and Mrs Karl Miller, Ms Petra Markham, Mr David Walsh, Mr Philip Purser, Mr John Spurling, Ms Jean Lovell Davis, Ms Anna Soderstrom, Ms Carole Holland, Ms Sarah Holland, Ms Julia Holland, Ms Gilly Oakes, Ms Mary Kenny, Ms Marjorie Wallace, Mr Ken Lukowiak, Ms Kersti French, Ms Nicci Gerrard, Mr Sean French, Ms Ursula Owen, Ms Jo Batterham, Mr and Mrs Grenville Robinson, Mr Graham Binmore, Mr Jo Simon, Mr Ian Christie, Mr and Mrs Wally Fawkes, Mr Ronnie Payne, Ms Celia Haddon, Mr Nigel Rees, Ms Julia Hobsbawm, Ms Teresa Grimes, Ms Harriet Green, Ms Yeen Au, Ms Lynn Barber, Ms Mary Clemmey, Mr Ernie Eban, Ms Victoria Glendinning, Ms Anne Holmes-Drewry, Ms Alison Telfer, Ms Diana Melly, Ms Angela Neustatter, Mr and Mrs Philip Thomas, Ms Finola Quinn, Ms Estella Weldon, Ms Eleanor Bron, Mr David Maccoby, Mr Christopher Gardner, Ms Monica Petzal, Ms Olivia Fane, Mr and Mrs Paul Johnson, Ms Carolyn Gowdy, Ms Monica Petzal, Mr Joseph Steeples, Mr Daniel Carrier, Mr John Forman, Ms Emma Gibson, Mr Graham Tayar, Mr Paul Shearsmith, Ms Rachel Miller, Mr David Croft, Ms Maria Wakely, Ms Naomi Fabian Miller, Ms Serena Inskip, Ms Celia Lowenstein, Mr Godfrey Smith, Mr Peter Preston, Mr and Mrs McGrath, Mr Michael Leapman, Ms Pippa Vaughan, Mr and Mrs Bernard Carnell, Mr Gerald Wakelin, Mr Ivor Samuels, Ms Elspeth Hamilton, Mr Christopher Cross, Mr Phil Grey, Ms Vicki Jung, Ms Jane McAusland, Mr Colin Crewe, Ms Josephine Marston, Mrs Pat Hutchison, Mr Nick Callow, Ms Mary Morrison, Mr Steve Swannell, Ms Melissa Pow, Mr Robert Robinson, Mr Al Alvarez, Ms Irma Kurtz, Ms Jane Brown, Mr Don Cameron, Mr and Mrs Hilary Rubinstein, Ms Shirley Conran, Ms Dorothy Rowe, Ms Joan Bakewell, Ms Nina Bawden, Mr Russell Enoch, Ms Katharine Whitehorn, Mr Hunter Davis, Ms Margaret Forster, Ms Cynthia Kee, Ms Claire Tomalin, Mr Michael, Frayn, Mr and Mrs Herbert Kretzmer, Mr and Mrs Jay Landesman, Mr Lewis Wolpert, Mr David Galliford, Mr and Mrs John Mortimer, Mrs Gladys Glascoe Mr Philip French (Critics Circle), Mr Mark Le Fanu (Society of Authors), Ms Eileen Gunn (general secretary, Royal Literary Fund) together with many more friends and former colleagues.